Design Your Life CoachingDesign Your Life Coaching

October 2009: "Insights into Automatic Ways-of-Being"

One of the foundations for my 'emerging' profession of coaching is to "observe the observer" I am, and how I have been living from "conversations that automatically show up," especially when I am 'bumping up against' something in my life. That's a different way to describe it, isn't it?

My training of myself as a coach is that if I am not observing, or noticing , who I am being in my life such that I learn to shift [or transform] my own way-of-being (WOB), how will I be able to work with my clients as a practiced observer? Having just returned from four weeks away from my normal work and living environment, I've been able to take an uninvolved-in-my-normal-life look at where I have become automatic in my ways-of-being. I will share a couple of my major observations with you, and what I am now committing to because of what I've observed.

One observation I noticed was how I've been viewing my age. I'm 58. Lately I've noticed that my automatic conversations about my age have been stopping me from taking steps toward what I see is possible in my own life. What's been showing up as a conversation which has been deadly is …"I'm too old for that." I've been living from an automatic conversation from when I was a kid where I thought anyone over the age of 30, then 40, then 50 and now closing in on 60, was old. Old. As if I know what the meaning of old really is. Do I [we]? Or do I/we have an automatic conversation that dictates what we think "old" is? Based on our history, our culture, our beliefs, and the environment in which we live, it's important… for me… for us… to consciously step "out" of my daily life, and be that observer of the conversations I am living inside of, observe what I am saying about my age and choose to "do it anyway" whatever "it" may be, and regardless of my automatic conversations.

Another observation I noticed that has become an automatic way of thinking for me (as if it is the truth) is that what I think or have to say is not that important to others. Since I've been back from my month-long trip, I've been fielding calls from people who want me involved in decisions, conversations, goals, and visions that they are facing. I have also opened the report for the last Laser Coaching Tip! I wrote before I left on my trip. In this age of so many things to read from the Internet including news, emails, blogs, and just plain silly missives, I was happy to see that 30% of my readers opened and read my LCT! My vision of designing a life I love is being noticed. Not to share what I have to say or what I think would be a shame especially since I've designed my life to be absolutely wonderful! I am married to a man who is as madly in love with me as I am with him. I have the perfect living environment. My family knows I love them, and we can count on each other if ever there is a need. The job I have allows me to turn people on to their own greatness and be the catalyst for them to design lives they love. Therefore, if 30% of my readers take what I say and "pay it forward" in their own lives, I now choose to observe that what I say just may translate to 30% of the people in my readers' lives, such that my readers' communities think about how they can choose to design lives they love.

A lesson here for me, for us, is to take pause. Take pause in my life to observe the observer I am. Now insights without action are just that - insights. So my committed action in taking pause and observing myself as that observer is to take walks at least three times a week and sit somewhere I can 'commune' with nature. This action is a personal favorite of mine and something I dropped out in my life. I now commit to you to take this on as a committed action, and I will write about what I've observed. Please feel free to ask me how I am doing in my committed action. Have you noticed how this fits in with my last LCT! of promising to write for my book? I love how life fits together if you allow it! Life is simple, not easy, but simple.

Would you like to create your own committed action that I can support you in? Please share it with me.

Have a wonderful autumn.

With respect for who you be in your life,


Patricia Hirsch, MBA, Master Certified Coach and Chief Empowerment Officer with Design Your Life Coaching